This trip could’ve been one big blur, but it wasn’t. If you name a date in the last six months, with the exception of maybe a few days, I could tell you exactly where I was that day and what I did. This round the world trip started as a dream a couple years ago when I first learned there was such a thing as RTW tickets and I thought that sounded awesome. So I started dreaming. And now I’ve lived that dream. And living this dream was better than dreaming it. Usually it’s the other way around.
But just because it was better, doesn’t mean that it was all fun, though there was PLENTY of that. Some parts of it really sucked and were really stressful and stretched me further than I thought I could be stretched. At one point halfway through, I had such a low time that the urge to quit overwhelmed me. All my plans had fallen through, and I suddenly found myself on the verge of being completely on my own for the rest of the trip, in countries I knew little about. I hadn’t expected it to be that way, hadn’t chosen to travel alone like that, but yet here it was, thrust upon me.
I had lost my momentum and my sense of purpose, why I was even on this trip. As much as I’d traveled up to that point, I’d never been so totally on my own. I was having problems with my ticket at the airport, and if one more thing went wrong, I was going to get on a flight back home and finish the trip later. But I got a boarding pass, and as the United service agent handed it to me, she told me to enjoy my holiday. Holiday. Aren’t those supposed to be fun? I wasn’t having fun. It felt like the stress would paralyze me. I wanted to keep going, but didn’t know how. But I did know how to take the next step, so I kept moving forward one little step at a time.
Dreams always change you, whether or not you live them. Living this one changed me. I’ve learned so much and lived so much in the past six months. I knew it would be a big thing before I set out. Finances alone, it’s a big thing. From the beginning, I felt God letting me know that going on this trip was a choice He was leaving up to me, but if I chose it, He’d provide. I knew it would be a trip we’d take together. Through it all, He’s taken care of me, and I’ve learned to trust Him in ways I haven’t before. All of us have ideas about God that aren’t true. Lots of people think God’s no fun. But I wish that they could know God like I know him, because I sure know him to be HEAPS of fun.
I’m surprised that I found traveling alone to be so much fun. What was most surprising was that I wasn’t alone all the time. I met people that were going the same way as me, and we went on together, maybe just for dinner, or maybe for a week. Expats are some of the most interesting people to me, probably because I’m happiest when I am one. I’ve crossed paths with some of the most amazing people, some of whom I’ll never forget and who I hope to visit in their countries someday soon. It’s also nice to just get caught up in the ebb and flow of the travel trail and the people and cultures around you without the drama of figuring out where to go and what to do with a travel companion.
Of course, there’s the occasional loneliness, but finding that it’s possible to travel alone successfully has given me such an enormous sense of accomplishment and self-confidence. Moving beyond the “I can’t do this” to digging into inner strengths and abilities I didn’t know I had have made it all worth it. That’s freeing on so many levels. I’ve found peace being alone with my thoughts, and enjoyed the time to process the things going on in the world around me and in my own life.
Memories are the parts of the past that linger if we hold on to them (or sometimes they cling to us despite our attempts to shake them off), and the ones I have from this trip are ones that I hope never slip from my grasp. I can’t help but picture myself old in a rocking chair (or even better, getting my nails done in the beauty salon of an Airbus A380, or whatever insanely monstrous airliner they’ll dream up by then ;) ), entertaining myself with the memories of years past. I intend give myself a lot to think about.