After all that movement by various means across the surface of the planet, it’s nice to just chill. I’ve made peace with the silence, enjoying the time to think. Before, I would always turn on the TV, or run out the door only to turn music on in the car, to fill the empty spaces in the air with noise. It was easier than having to deal with that unsettled feeling I’d get when left with my own thoughts. But I don’t feel alone anymore when I’m by myself.
Strangely enough, it hasn’t been that hard to adjust to being back in America. I’m not exactly sure why. It could be because I moved from place to place often enough I didn’t really have time to adjust to any one culture. I learned to accept that I am where I am, and to try to enjoy it for what it is. America is another one of those places; its culture is apart of me, but I’m not holding too tightly to it. There is room for other cultures to come in too.
Since being back, I’ve noticed with a note of humor that I’ve starting seeing some things with the eyes of a foreigner. I was driving down the freeway one day, and as I passed a semi I noticed the eyes of several cows gleaming through the slits in the trailer. It struck me what a strange sight this really was. I even wanted to take a photo. But don’t worry; I’m not that stupid at 75mph. (Ahem, that is the legal speed limit in North Dakota.)
When you live nowhere, you live everywhere. Amazingly enough I never really got sick of living out of a suitcase. Like a turtle, I simply brought my home with me, or at least some sense of home. But lately I’m really missing it- not the home I’m from, but my home, the one that doesn’t exist just yet. While I’ll always love to travel, these little turtle legs are feeling ready to stay for a good while in one place that I really like, near friends I love, and doing what I’m made to do.
Two things I know about myself: I’m at my best when I’m living abroad, and I want to interpret between Deaf and hearing people. At this point, in order to do the former, I need to get more experience in the latter. I’d also like to pursue being a doula and continue in photography in some capacity. Strangely enough I’m still not sure what niche of photography is for me, but I do know I’m done collecting professions, and now it’s time to work!
The uncertainty is annoying at times, but that’s also where the adventure lies! We never get to have it all figured out, do we?
Comment
I absolutely agree. . .about never getting to have it all figured out :-) I also know the feeling of missing “home”–that doesn’t yet exist. You’ll get there, I’m sure!
I wanted to send you a little something so now that you’re settled down for a bit, can I get your mailing address?
Thanks!
You can send it to kristen.gabrielle@gmail.com
Thanks again for sharing!
love,
kristen