Free from the confining walls of the drug study facility and alone in my car, I took the opportunity to shriek at the top of my lungs in pure exhilaration at my new found freedom. And then I bee-lined it to Starbucks for that Pumpkin Spice latte I’d been dreaming of for nearly three weeks. Yummmmm!
A few hours later, while on a flight to Seattle to visit friends that are like the biggest breath of fresh air to me, I pulled the thickest Sky Mall catalog I’ve ever seen out of the seat-back pocket in front of me, mostly out of boredom. Who knew pages of entertainment awaited me. Page after page, I found it absolutely comical that someone actually thought up these products, and what’s more, thinks someone might actually buy them.
Check it out:
•a marshmallow launcher. Okay, so I guess I can imagine it being a bit of fun on the playground, but may land you in detention with the first stray gob of fluffy goodness to go off course.
•a deluxe yoga stand that enables the user to stand on her head to “relieve organs of the daily stress of gravity.” I didn’t know gravity was so detrimental to my internal organs, but now I have a headache from all the blood rushing to my head.
•a coffee maker that displays the weather forecast received from a satellite signal while you wait for your coffee to brew. Does anyone actually stand there watching the coffee drip? Isn’t Al Roker’s take on the weather in your neck of the woods a bit more entertaining?
•a toaster with interchangeable plates that brand various holiday art into your bread. Great if your idea of spreading Christmas cheer involves spreading strawberry jam on Santa Claus’s face.
I think the Sky Mall people have misjudged where their target consumers are to be found; the kind of people that might think about buying the aforementioned products probably wouldn’t be sitting in an economy class seat. In fact they probably aren’t on United at all. They probably already have they’re own private jet.
But even I’ll admit that a laser virtual keyboard really is kind of a cool idea if you don’t like using the stylus pen on your PDA. But, seriously, it’s also a tad bit nerdy.