Random chance to think, pound out life and its frustrations or celebrate its successes, catch up on new music, clear my head… not to mention the killer calves and the runner’s high (yes, it’s real and who needs drugs?!). All reasons running has come to be one of my favorite things. Even more satisfying than simply going out to run for running’s sake is training for a marathon, because then, in addition to all the aforementioned things, I also get the satisfaction of crossing the miles off my training schedule. Just one little goal met along the road to a larger (26.2) one.
Starting to train for Vancouver marathon (101 days and counting) is one of the major things that lifted me out that several-week-long-mini-depressed mood I was in. Nothing else had really changed in my circumstances. I was still waiting. But somehow my outlook at changed. I had also come to realize I wasn’t happy with who I was in some ways, and that realization alone was a good step in the right direction to becoming more the person I want to be, inside my own head and then to the world.
I had a chance to leave Vancouver a week or so after arriving here, but as I thought and prayed about it, I felt I should stay. I’d come this far and as long as there was a chance I could still have the interpreting job in that school, I should stay and wait it out.
You see, I’d called the lady again, the one who’d flaked out on me over a month ago (we’ll call her Dorothy, her real name, so as not to protect the innocent), and said, “Hey, I just need these two things from you and the rest of the application for the work permit is my responsibility. Oh, and here’s the number to call to get the low down.” And then I pulled the spoon out of her mouth. Okay, so I didn’t say it exactly like that, but you get the gist.
A couple days later Dorothy informed me she’d called that number, but had to leave a voicemail and apparently would hear back from them in five (5) business days. So I waited some more. In the meantime, I took a ferry to visit an old friend in Victoria, a much needed weekend to clear my head and have a good time and girly conversation.
Kristen and me downtown Victoria. It’s raining. And winter. Thus the pasty white complexions.
Today I called Dorothy back, and promptly got her voicemail,which stated she’d be away until February 4th. FEBRUARY FOURTH. Honestly. I just suddenly felt I couldn’t wait around anymore. The school year will be over by the time the paperwork goes through.
Borders just plain suck. Why can’t we just roam the world at will?
I was all ready to book a flight home, but then felt I’d only be going backwards. I still really love this part of the world, for it’s beauty and greenness, for the healthy lifestyle, and for how people think. And I can run outside in the winter without fifteen layers and a hat.
Plan B? Seattle.
In no way, however, do I feel Vancouver was a waste of time. Sometimes our reason for doing something turns out to have a different effect altogether. I did a lot of changing during this time, if just in my mind, and I found freedom and closure in a much needed way. I’m in a different mental space than I was when I landed here. Dare I even say it, but maybe America isn’t so bad for me after all (how can a place with Trader Joe’s be all THAT bad?!), I might even be excited about it, and I’m feeling ready to plunk my butt down and stay awhile; my little lapse back into wanderlust somehow worked its way out again. And who knows, maybe that $500 medical exam for the work permit that never the chance to be applied for will come in handy sometime in the future.
No matter where I end up for this next little part of life, I’m looking forward to a fresh start in a new place. I want a dog. I sooooo want a dog. A lil white fluffy furball of my very own. And an apartment close to somewhere fun to run in the city. And a job I love and am good at.
That last part is the part that freaks me out the most.
We all somehow have this idea that going for our dreams should be as fluffy and warm and fuzzy as the undertones of the word dream feel. So not true. Going after dreams is so much hard work, sweat, and tears. Worth it? I’m hoping so! I imagine the satisfaction of achieving one’s dreams will be even greater because of how hard it was to get there.
Then at the end of this life, when asked if we used the talents and gifts and desires we were given to make the world just a bit better, we’ll have a better answer than, “the inside of that hole I crawled in was cozy.”
4 Comments
Is there a word to describe the twists and turns in your life? Astounding? Exciting? Tiring? I don’t know, but I am glad that you are still moving forward. Enjoy the rainy city.
To My Most Favorite “Blogger”
Dearest Lindsay: While visiting Orlando, Florida last week Dick was flipping through channels and stopped on a Christian station with a gal “signing” our most favorite song that you sign. We both said at the same time “Lindsay does it so much better” – God has been good to you and given you such a wonderful gift. Our prayer is that you will fall right smack dab into a job using that talent. Your writing is also a God given talent. You are SO VERY EXPRESSIVE and can pull people in with your words. Keep moving forward and looking up and good luck with the running! Love You – Donna & Dick Too!
Sorry to hear about the low times, but happily ready to greet you in the Emerald City. Love, Mel
It’s time for an update!